I’m a girl who’s all about process. Like, I’d rather watch the special features on a DVD and see how a movie was made, than to watch the movie itself. And, I don’t even care if it’s a movie I’m interested in or not. Just show me how it was done, and I’m there!! Same goes with art. All I care about is how it was done. Youtube loves me for this obsession I have. haha I love to watch artists paint.

The finished product? Well, I say, “eh, it’s not so important.” After all, it’s finished. Done. Completed. As a working artist, there’s nothing else to do at this point, except sell it..which, trust me, is not all it’s cracked up to be. And, that’s why I am ALL about the process from start to finish. That’s the exciting part. That’s where the real meat of it all lies..somewhere between the idea, and the sigh of relief. That’s what makes my little heart race.

I’ve been taking a good hard look at my blog lately, and I realized there is no way I am coming close to representing my true self here. I have forgotten how to document the things that are important to me..really important. I have been blogging for sooo many years, and before that, I had an online journal. heh! Remember online journals? All hand coded and flowery. Mine was never flowery, but I did hand code everything. html was my best friend.

Anyway, I guess that practice doesn’t make perfect. It makes “burn out”, which is what I’ve been for the past few years. I want to change that. So, from now I’m going to start documenting more. There will be progress shots of what I’m doing. Not so much for you, but for me. I hate to be selfish, but I need to keep better track of where I came from, so I can get to where I’m going a little easier.

Right now, I have six paintings started, but none finished. I am standing right in the middle of the process!! This is where all the drama starts happening. Frustration. Nervousness. Panic. And, little tiny breakthroughs. Ah! Love the breakthroughs. Hate the rest of the stuff, but I know it’s necessary, at least for me. I kinda wish I wasn’t at this stage with ALL six of the paintings because it makes going into the studio a dreaded chore right now..but, it’s okay.

So, I’ve been working on this one for a couple weeks now..maybe a month? I have no idea how to proceed at this point, so I’ve stopped. I’m going to look at it for a while until I decide where to go from here. I’ve been leaning it up against the wall, and it stares back at me while I work on other stuff.

It makes me think a lot. My eyes are constantly examining every detail. I can’t say that I like the background at this point. It was white with layers. I changed it to blue. Then, I changed it back to white. Then, back to blue. I can not make up my mind. Perhaps blue and white are not the answers I’m looking for.

I can’t say I like the dresses either. I have changed the color of them several times, also. First, mauve with no layers. Then white, cuz the background was blue. Nope, that didn’t work. Now, it’s a mixture of layers, white and mauve. I’m not in love with it.

The faces need more work. The one on the left has a droopy eyelid. I haven’t decided if I’m going to fix it or not. I have a droopy eyelid, and no one fixed me. heh heh But, I may spare her a lifetime of people pointing out her droopiness. I know it kinda gets old after a while.

Needless to say, this will be on my work table for many more hours before I’m anywhere happy with it. If I was to guess, I’d say I’m about in the middle of the process. The part where I start to sweat and wonder if I’m ever going to like it. The part of the process that really makes me uncomfortable. But, I know, I have to push through this stage in order to get to the finish line.

Stay tuned for more photographs and further updates.